Why?

In my last post, I gave you my creed;  my realization that I was, in fact ill, and that I needed to do something about it.  In this post, I want to give you the "why."  Why am I doing this?  What caused me to want to make a change?  What made me want to become a healthier person and not just deal with what was?

Honestly, I've known that I was fat for a long time.  I get tired going up too many stairs and I wear larger than average clothes, so there wasn't really much left for the imagination when it came to figuring out where I sit on the "fitness scale."  For a long time, I always talked about doing something to get healthier.  I'd make comments about needing to get in shape, and needing to lose weight.  For months and months, though, I'd never actively do anything to back up what my mouth was saying.  Sure, I'd hit the gym and start eating healthy once every six months, but then I'd slip right back into my old ways and fall right off the wagon.

So what broke the cycle?  What made me turn my back on everything that made me fat?  Two words, my friends:  Tough Mudder.  Up until a short time ago, I had never heard of the Tough Mudder, nor did I have any aspirations to be an obstacle/mud runner.  Then, one day, everything changed.

My wife had been on a kick for months and months to get me healthy and in shape.  She tried a lot of different approaches to get me motivated, and everything inevitably fell flat with a resounding thud.  A couple of months back, however, she piqued my interest when she told me about the Color Run, a "fun and different" 5K that happens across the United States.  I looked at videos and pictures and thought it looked like fun, so I agreed to do it with her in May of 2013.  I figured it would give us something to accomplish together,  and it would give me a goal to work toward, which in my mind might actually be the thing that tipped the scales and made me actually take my weight loss seriously.

Weeks went by, and still I lay dormant, not mustering up any motivation to do anything about my weight, despite my impending date with a 5K. 

Jump forward a couple of weeks:  my friend Kevin has been going on and on about the Warrior Dash and telling me that I should totally sign up.  I agree for the September 2013 dash, more to go along with things than actually intending to accomplish it, and call it a day.  Kevin spends the next week or so discussing what we should do to get ready for the Warrior Dash and my fat-ass, being lazy as I am, is totally un-fazed by it.

One day, I get a text message from Kevin that read as follows:  "I'm not training for the Warrior Dash.  I'm training for the Tough Mudder in 2014 and the Warrior Dash will be a part of that training."  Having no idea what a Mudder was and what made it so "tough," I did was most people do, and asked Google what was what.  I found a link to the Tough Mudder homepage, and the next hour changed my life....

I watched all the videos that I could find on the site, read all of the info, and looked at all the pictures.  Everything that I was seeing looked positively insane, but at the same time, like so much fun.  I started researching people who had to the event and finding all sorts of testimonials of people saying it was one of the best things they had ever done, that they got a HUGE sense of accomplishment from having signed up and completed the Tough Mudder.

All of a sudden, something happened inside my brain.  All of a sudden, in a sea of laziness and indifference, I wanted this.  I wanted the satisfaction of setting such a lofty goal, and completing it.  I wanted the feeling of accomplishment from being able to tackle such a challenge, head-on, and coming out alive on the other side.  I wanted to feel like a bad ass, and have the stories to tell of my times at the Tough Mudder.  I wanted the right to wear a Tough Mudder tattoo.  I wanted it all.

A sudden realization hit me, however:  I'm obese and incredibly out of shape.  There is no way in hell that I can ever hope to tackle this thing in my current condition.  Dammit, I want the Tough Mudder though, possibly more than I've ever wanted anything.  At that point, it was decided:  I was bound and determined to get in shape, and train harder than I ever had in my life so that I could participate in, and complete, the Tough Mudder.

I had finally found something that motivated me.  I finally found that spark that made me want to better my life and finally become healthy and happy with myself.  I found the Tough Mudder, and nothing was going to stop me from achieving it.